Do you know the saying: “You can t pour from an empty cup”?
Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s true! In modern, fast-paced life, taking care of our own needs and giving back to ourselves can seem not only selfish but completely unrealistic.
It is a common misconception that we should not put our needs first, especially when the needs of the rest of the family are not fully considered.
How dare we spend 30 minutes exercising when we’re not sure how to complete the rest of our to-do list?
I’m here to tell you that the 30 – 55 minutes it takes to fill your cup can change everything!
We must learn to plan to take care of ourselves because if we don’t defend ourselves, who will?
No one knows your own body better, and the gratitude that comes from listening to your intuition is not to be taken lightly. It does have a ripple effect.
I will give you an example from my own life.
I used to think that I had to make sure everyone else in my family was happy and taken care of before I could decide to give something back to myself.
It took me a while, but I found that I was always more grumpy in the mornings than I wanted to be.
I would bite the little things, or the little things would be a thorn in my side.
I looked at my morning and realized that I was ministering to everyone else, even the dog before my needs were really in the mix.
Yes, I would have a cup of coffee, but that was while I was walking around trying to get my daughters or everyone ready for their day.
Many people feel drained, angry, tired, and depressed at the end of the day.
Fatigue can set in at 10 a.m. m., and there is not enough coffee in the world to eliminate it.
Every minor irritation seems to be magnified. A fight between two brothers can make you nervous.
A few drops of spilt milk make him panic. The tasks you are assigned at work seem arduous and overwhelming.
I’m not quite sure why you feel so anxious and anxious.
And why is there so little left in you that you can give to others? When people ask you for help or expect things from you, you feel a surge of resentment.
Also, you help them because you don’t want them to think you’re selfish. Why do you feel that way?
And why don’t you feel rewarded or happy when you give to others?
Why do you seem to do this out of a sense of duty and not joy?
What does it mean to pour from an empty cup?
Pouring from an empty cup is when a person gives from a place of lack. It’s an oft-repeated phrase that essentially means that if we don’t take care of ourselves, we can’t help others.
We can do what we have to do because we know we have to do it. We care for a sick parents, cook dinner for our children, do chores at work, and participate in charity events.
But we never feel like we want to do any of that.
Instead, we feel we have to do them because others expect us to do them. And we hope these things of ourselves.
Think of it like a phone that needs to be charged.
If you don’t charge the phone, the phone will stop working. If the phone is only set in small increments, it will never get enough power to last long.
Also, it runs on small rush charges to last an hour or so. Like a phone, we need to be fully charged before performing at our best.
Combining selfishness with self-care
Many people who pour from an empty cup confuse selfishness with self-care. They are usually codependent people who need to take care of others to have self-esteem.
Caring for others makes them feel resentful but necessary and valuable. When they refrain from loving behaviour, they feel guilty and selfish.
They find it hard to say no and feel responsible for the problems of others. They don’t listen to their body, mind, or emotions telling them to slow down and stop.
Selfishness and self-care is not the same thing. There is nothing selfish about putting your own needs above those of others to function properly.
People need to get enough sleep, eat, relax, and be rewarded to feel good. When they don’t get these things, they feel moody, angry, resentful, and tired. It is poured from an empty cup.
Do things for love vs having to
When we take care of people out of obligation, we do not do it for good reasons. We may think it’s us because we care about someone else, but our hearts tell different stories.
If you dig deep and ask yourself the hard questions, you’ll find that you may not want to worry about anyone else right now. You want to feel good about yourself and feel loved and accepted.
Unfortunately, we cannot feel loved and accepted if we do not love and accept ourselves.
When we give for the right reasons, we feel much more rewarded.
We give because we want to share. We take care of someone because we want to take care of them
Also, we did something beautiful because we had time for it and we wanted to do it. Giving a full cup makes us feel like much better people.
Our internal motives align with our external actions. We are ourselves.
Tips – you can t pour from an empty cup
It’s hard to learn to give from a full cup, especially if you’ve been struggling with codependency or low self-esteem for a while.
While there is no one right solution, you can implement some best practices today. These include –
Take some personal time each day
Make time each day to relax and do something you feel like doing. We’re all busy, but some of us prioritize self-care more than others.
Have healthy routine.
Find something you really enjoy and set aside time on your calendar.
Start Saying No
Listen to how you feel inside when someone asks you for a favor. If it can’t get out of your way or you don’t want to do something, don’t hesitate to say no.
It isn’t easy, especially when it comes to family members. However, it is an essential exercise to start improving.
Get more sleep
Getting enough rest is essential if you want to be productive during the day.
If you don’t get enough sleep, you’ll feel more angry, frustrated, and resentful. Set a schedule and put all technology away an hour before bed.
Try to go to bed simultaneously and get up at the same time. Avoid drinking too much coffee or alcohol.
Talk to someone
Talking to a therapist can help improve low self-esteem and eliminate codependent behaviors.
Find a professional counselor who can help you learn suitable coping mechanisms to deal with stress and challenging people.
What does it mean when your cup is empty?
Have you ever felt exhausted…? emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted; like you have nothing left to give? At this moment your cup is empty.
Filling your cup means replenishing those reserves of mental, emotional, and physical energy.